Guys...I can't do this anymore. I just can't keep hiding it, I need to tell you guys what happened. So many of you don't know that Wes and I broke up, and I don't mean that as in we broke apart since he's now in Sweden. I mean, we've broken up as a couple, our love is gone, and my heart was shattered. And yet, so many of you thought that we were perfect. And I still continue to get comments, messages, emails, and stuff saying "You and Wes are so perfect!" "Did Wes get you that? He must really care about you!" And guys, I just can't stand those. I mean, Wes didn't get me everything. I have other friends and I'm perfectly capable of getting something on my own. I'm not just a little princess who needs everything done for her. And even though I wrote about a new guy in my last post, I'm still my own girl. Wes wasn't the center of my universe, and now, I don't want him anywhere near my universe, and he doesn't want me anywhere near his. I'm just going to tell you the whole story, because I'm so tired of keeping it inside and not telling anyone the full story. I have to let it out.
It started a day after I uploaded the video saying that Promise was being discontinued. In that video, I stated how I was so busy with other things such as my Undertale Album, other projects, musicals/plays, dance...and photo shoots, gosh, that was my biggest mistake. Literally everyone was saying, "Becareful with photo shoots" even though I literally said I knew the guy, and the director of all my plays recommended me to him. I really don't think he would send one of his favorite performers to a dangerous guy. Because honestly guys, that director treats me and my friends like his daughters since he never had any children. We call him daddy sometimes :) Anyway! But this one guy, by the name of xxx xxx, was a complete jerk about it too! Like I did with the rest of the comments, I said I knew the guy, he was my director's friend, and I had already done 2 shoots with him. But he was just so mean and wouldn't let it go! Finally, I asked Wes for back up, because I hate dealing with haters and I'm a complete pacifist. And when Wes made his first comment in the argument, he was even meaner to Wes! He was continuing to say things like, "You shouldn't be involved in this!" "Pfft! Your just a dumb 14 year old kid! You don't know anything!" "You couldn't protect yourself against your girlfriend, let alone a plastic bag!" And that's not even the worst of it. He was cursing too, but I don't wanna write those words. Finally, Wes suggested I block him, and I did. Blocking him had disabled my ability to see or comment back in the conversation, but that didn't erase it. Little did I know that Wes was still fighting this guy and said that if he didn't stop insulting me, him and keep his "concerns" to himself, he was going to get THE MAN involved. Xxx xxx just laughed and said "Aw, are you going to run to your daddy, crying because you got yourself involved in something you shouldn't have! Stupid kid!" This drew the line for Wes...THE MAN was code for MY dad...Wes' father died when he was 4. He eventually did call my dad and got him, my director, and the photographer, himself, involved. The jerk never replied, and was never heard from again. All this happened, and I was unaware of any of it because I ran away from my battles...
Later that day, Wes face-timed me, and trust me, he didn't look happy. His hair was a greasy mess, he was sweaty, he even looked like he had been crying. I asked him what was wrong...and that's when it began. He yelled at me, asking why I couldn't just fight my own battles. I was shocked, frozen, and scared. He said he had always been the one to stand up to the bullies online, while I do absolutely nothing. I couldn't help but admit that he was right. He told me everything that had happened with the jerk and how he had to get my dad, director and photographer involved. I told him I was sorry, especially how the jerk hurt him by bringing up his dad. He sighed and said he couldn't keep fighting my battles for me. That one day, he's not going to be there, and I'm going to have to protect myself. I told him how I never liked fighting against people online because it made me feel like a villan, and if any of my subs or friends saw it, they would think I was the meanest person ever. Wes let out a small huff and asked if I thought that HE liked fighting my battles? If HE didn't feel bad? I said to him, "But Wes, your my boyfriend. You said you would do anything for me because you loved me!" After that...*sigh*...I remember every word out of his mouth. "Well, then maybe we're just not meant to be boyfriend and girlfriend! When we said our vows at our 'wedding' before I left, we both promised to protect each other! I've been protecting you non-stop, and you've done nothing for me except drag me into your problems and have me solve them for you! And if you're not going to keep your end of the promise, why should I keep mine?!" With that...I'll never forget it...I can't forget it...he removed his "ring" that we gave to each other at our "wedding" before he left for Sweden, and snapped it right in half. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I just looked down at the ring on MY finger and felt the tears begin to fall down my cheeks. When Wes saw this, he apologized for yelling and being so rough but he never apologized fo breaking the ring which is what hurt the most. The ring is what kept us connected, and I felt like I meant absolutely nothing to him anymore. He still thought we shouldn't see each other anymore, and I couldn't help but agree more.
From there, we both agreed we would erase any evidence that we were ever together, or that the other had ever existed. We deleted each others phone numbers and emails, we unfollowed and blocked each other on social media, we got rid of the scripts, playbills and posters of the shows we did together since our names and pictures were on them, and we disposed of any gift we had given each other (ever wonder why our Valentine's day videos to each other were deleted?). Even some of my videos had his name in them because he mixed my stuff or wrote something, but I couldn't bring myself to take them down. So I refuse to watch those anymore. As for me ring...I didn't break it...I didn't get rid of it...I couldn't...I put it back in the box it was in when Wes "proposed" and tucked it away in my drawer. Let's just say...I never opened that drawer since that day. I try to forget about him and keep reminding myself of what he did, but just because we erased eachother from existence, doesn't mean he's erased from my memories. I honestly wish I had a memory switch so I could just switch it off and start over (comment down below if you get that reference! ;)
But I also keep telling myself that there are other guys in the world, and if the love is right, it'll happen. But for now, this princess is happy living the single life, and if that boy who I wrote about in my last post wants to get together, I'm down with it! I probably just killed so many of you who thought that Wes and I were OTP, but they always say the best love stories end in tragedy. And if Wes is dating some other girl in Sweden, that's fine. He made his choice, and I'll make mine. Does that mean I'm not still upset, hell no, I'm still very devistated by what happened. However, I'm not going to be a little wuss and let it ruin my life. Because I got my friends, my new crush...and you guys, who I know will love and support me no matter what ;)
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