Love and Loss

Gather 'roud guys gather 'round! Something, I've wanted to happen since the day Wes and I broke up, has happened to me! I'm in love! I'm in love you guys! I'm in LOOOOVE! That new Undertale song I released today really struck up a converstation! He said he couldn't wait to hear more from me! And the greatest part is, I didn't even have to tell him I had a channel! He found it on his own and we talked about it at my locker at school a few weeks ago! It's really sad that I fell in love with him the last few weeks of school. Now I'm not gonna get to see him until September! And I'm afraid to ask him if he wants to hang out or go somewhere over the summer because I don't wanna seem desperate or make anything seem suspicious. But at least he now knows about my upcoming Undertale album! And I now have a motive to write more original songs from Undertale! I was originally gonna just cover a bunch from other users, but if he thinks my lyrics for Ruins sounded great, then I have a reason to start writing!

Now...*sigh* Now comes the not so happy part. We all have that friend. And I mean THAT friend. That friend who you just can't stand to be around but you don't want to hurt their feelings so you continue to pretend to be their friend. Yeah, that friend. Now, I know what you're all thinking, "Woah! Ice Gaze! You so don't seem like the person to fake a friendship" The only reason I'm faking the friendship, is because I feel bad for her. She's told me in the past that so many of her friends had left her, and on my birthday card, she wrote I'm the only one who's continued to be her friend for this long. I teared up at that part, because I was the only one of us that knew that our true friendship ended months ago. When it came time to write out her birthday card...I just stared at my pen. I kept wanting to write the truth, that I didn't want to be her friend anymore, but I just couldn't bring mysel to do that. Finally, my pen moved, and every stroke of the pen, every word of ink...was made of lies. I felt awful giving it to her, knowing I meant nothing of what I said in the card. The funny thing is...I'm not the only one who lied in our relationship. She's lied countless times, even before I wanted to end our friendship. I was once walking with her to the bus for only 5 minutes, and in those 5 minutes, she told me 3 lies. How do I know? I've been through so many of her lies, I can tell her lies from her truths. But that's not the only reason I want to end our friendship. She's way too clingy, she's loud, she's always getting me in trouble, she cries over everything, she snaps at me for no reason, and she thinks everyone in the world has to treat her like a delicate little flower. The worst part is, she over reacting so badly when she didn't get into Saturday Night Fever and I did. The next say she told me "I'm done with (name of the theater). I'm just done with their disorganization". And honestly, I was so happy to hear this. Then she told me she was auditioning for Thoroughly Modern Millie and she ended up getting a featured part! I just feel if someone was going to get a featured part, it would be someone who deserves it and not someone who trash talks the theater. I want to break the bond between us, but I know she's just going to cry non-stop. I tried giving her the silent treatment at play practice to get the message across gently, but she literally pulled me out of the room and asked if we were still friends because I had been ignoring her the whole time. And let me say, she seemed like she was on the erge of tears. I said yes, just to make her happy, and she let out the biggest sigh of relief. I knew I should've told her the truth, but I just couldn't do it. However, I don't want to keep lying. I mean, every moment spent with her, is a lie as long as she thinks I'm her friend. I've been pretending for so long, I just can't do it anymore. The voices inside of me are screaming in agony because they can't go on like this anymore, and they can't continue to wear the friendship mask around her anymore. The problem is, I don't have the heart to tell her that I just can't be friends with her anymore.

If any of you have any suggestions, please comment them down below. And please don't say, you should try to fix your friendship with her. If anything, she should try to fix it after all she's done to me. I've tried to be the friend she wanted, but she whines at me, and yells, and lies, and if I'm going to keep pretending to be her friend, I at least want to feel treated as a friend. 

And I know My Little Pony is about love and friendship but I'm sorry, some friendships just aren't worth piecing back together...

But don't forget guys...I'M IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE XD <<<<333333