What Is This Feeling?

Hey guys! If you haven't noticed by the cover already, this isn't going to be a happy, or sad, or...idk kind of post. I just got home with some really confused, scared and mixed feelings and I just need to get them off my chest. Ok, so, as most of you who follow me on Twitter and read my stuff here know, that I have a new senpai which I have codenamed "National Pokedex". Dont't ask why, I give all my senpai's weird codenames. Anyway, all summer, we've been texting eachother about Ninjago, musical theater, Undertale and just to say hi. Well, just like me, he's in a musical theater production. I thought I'd be really cool and nice to go see the show and see him after 2 months. And I did. And I loved it! I got to see him and two other people I knew from previous shows I've done! It's just...when I saw National Pokedex, I didn't feel the feelings I had when I texted him. Whenever he would text me back, I would squeal, and spin and get butterflies! But this was different. 

When I got home he texted me and thanked me for coming to the show and it was great to see each other in person! I got a few butterflies and happiness while I replied, "no prob. And yeah, you too..." About 5 minutes after, he replied..."It's too bad we don't get to see each other until school. Unless..." There were no butterflies this time. I did what anyone else would ask, 'unless what?' Only, I didn't want to know. I still haven't picked up my phone to see the answer! I'm afraid if he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend! I mean, he already has a girlfriend, but that's another reason why I'm scared! Not only that, but the more and more I thought about having a boyfriend in reality, the more scared I got! I mean, Wes and I were fine, I loved him and he loved me. We could be cooky around each other and laugh. I felt safe. Since we broke up, I've had a few crushes but none of them have worked out. But...I'm afraid this one might. I then started thinking about actually being with a guy and having a boyfriend and I got really scared and upset. I then started thinking about possibly being with a girl, thinking maybe I'm lesbian and just don't know it yet. But I wasn't comfortable with that either! I mean, I'm really happy by myself now-a-days and I just like hanging out with my friends. I'm so lost and confused. I used to be boy crazy since Wes dumped me and I would always say 'I need a boyfriend' 'Where can I get a boyfriend?' Now, I'm envisioning myself with one when National Pokdex snapped me into reality and I'm just really nervous and scared! Is this normal? I don't know what to do. Meanwhile, I STILL haven't picked up my phone to check the text message. I just hope it doesn't say what I'm thinking it says.